The internet and it’s social life – Part 1 Friendship

“Can these people even be called friends?” asked my grandma after I told her about my friends on the internet from all over the world. The thought, that people I have never met before are my friends is hard to grasp. Especially when the internet is used as main tool to send funny pictures on whats app and watch cat videos. Which is A-W-E-S-O-M-E!

But before I get more into the social life part I would like to give an overview what the internet has given me, personally.

I learned a lot using the internet, but these two things are probably most relevant for this specific topic:

English

• When I started using the internet I came across a lot of things, for which English was necessary. I am glad I had access. While school gave me the basis I am not sure if I would have been able to develop English skills suitable for daily use by reading and learning about politics in different countries other than my own and being tested using an Oxford dictionary to even understand the test in the first place. Additionally I was able to connect with native English speakers, and I was lucky enough to meet people that were not too shy to point out my mistakes. Please, correct your non English friends if they keep saying things really wrong. They will appreciate it. (If not, never correct them again!)

Empathy

• Meeting people online is easy. Hanging out with people online regularly is also fairly easy. What also comes easy, is fucking up. Saying things, which people may take as an offense. Taking things for granted, which you shouldn’t. Cultural differences and misunderstandings often due to language barriers is not uncommon either. So what do you do if you end up finding yourself in such a situation? You either fight for it or you move on. You move on to the next online community, to the next guild or clan or to the next stream. At some point you may develop a certain empathy which helps you also grow friendships that go beyond the daily gaming session.

Sometimes it is hard to understand that meeting people online is really not that much different from meeting people the ‘normal’ way. Just take a look at how you make friends. You meet them at work, they are friends of friends or you simply share the same interests, meet at a place where you pursuit your hobby. Isn’t it the same online? Isn’t a community online nothing else than a club you go to, to find people with the same interests?

Friendship is defined differently and interpreted individually. But I will just assume that the following things are important to the majority of people.

Honesty and Trust

• Asking about opinions, advise or getting to know each other. Happens everywhere, offline and online. The longer you talk, the more trust you gain. Even if you meet someone in the offline world you will probably keep most contact via any sort of online media nowadays, so what’s the difference? In times of Snapchat, Skype and Instagram the aspect of not seeing how a person reacts is also not an issue anymore. Emoticons and Gifs will also suffice in case you are shy or not in the mood to show your face, no worries.

Sharing the same interests

• You probably got to know each other, because you share the same interests. Then you keep maybe playing the same game and start some small talk here and there. You discover more common interests, stay in contact, maybe even outside your ‘gaming hours’. This is, what keeps a friendship going and healthy. Generating memories and having a fun time, online.

This means you are basically building and maintaining an ‘online’ friendship the same way as an ‘offline’ friendship. You trust, care and stay in contact. You share the same interests and you know more than just each others nick name. In the end everyone has to decide for themselves, what defines a good and real friendship.

While it may be easier to walk away and create new friendships online, once you have build up a friendship that is worth keeping, it can bring just as much joy into your life as any other friendship you built ‘offline’.

 

Trialing and being trialed

This post was kind of ready for some time, but I did not want to put in the time to review it, but I think it is still fitting, especially now after Copenhagen Games.  Teams fold, girls are looking, teams are looking. Trying to finally find the girl with the same goals.

First of all I would like to say what one of our past coaches said to us, when we were trialing new players. It is not only us, who is trialing someone, we are also being trialed.

I feel like in the female scene, existing teams think, there is such a big pool of players and that the rare resource is not the players, it’s the teams, which gives you an advantage. Let me tell you, you are wrong.

You should always want the best for you and for your team, the best does not come easy. The best will also demand things from you and your team.

If you take playing professionally in any team serious and want to be taken serious you will have to start treating it like a professional. It is some sort of a business after all.

When you are trialing someone you also need to show yourself from the best side. Many times I have trialed for teams and I hear them talking bad about previous trialists.
You don’t want to tell your current trialist how it goes with other trialists, you also don’t want to ‘shit talk’ other players of the female scene while your trialist is there for the first time. While shit talking is not really a positive characteristic anyway, keep in mind everyone knows everyone. You don’t know, who your trialist is friends with.
As a team you want to show your comittment to the game, you don’t want to play around in another game 5 minutes before practice or a tournament.

Twitter, what should I say. Take care what you post on the internet. No, I am not trying to sound like your parents, but there are enough careers that suffered, because people tweeted something stupid.

We also used to check the twitter pages of trialists, watched their past streams and trust me we have seen a few things. In a few cases it already determined our decision in other cases we still gave it a shot, but the first impression is there.

Give your trialist easy calls. If you already have proper setups and strategies, sure use them, if you know you have the time to explain them, but don’t expect your trialist to instantly do what’s in your head when you call a planned strat mid game, which your team had several games to get used to.

As the team ask your trialist if they have any questions and also as trialist you should never be too shy to ask questions. Be demanding, if you already know what you want.

Warm up! Get warm with the trialing player, have some small talk if needed. See if you get along. Many games are about confidence and you are more confident the more comfortable you feel around your teammates. But you should also warm up for the games. This is not only an advise for the trialist, but also for the whole team.

Just keep in mind as a team and also as a trialist, to treat the tryout like a serious interview, unless we are talking about a just for fun mix team and also do not forget to have some fun!

Your right mindset

What does it mean to have a mindset? If you check the ‘reliable’ source of urbandictionary.com you will get the following definiton:

” 1. mindset (noun) – outlook towards life (aka CounterStrike)” (https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mindset)

So life is Counterstrike? Is it for you? Is it the thing you enjoy the most, is it the thing you think about most of the time, is it the discipline you want to become the best in, knowing you will have to work for it, harder than anyone else?

I actually think, also from personal experience, that the mindset of people within smaller communities, such as the female CSGO scene results into a delay in the scenes development. People don’t communicate their goals properly, build a team and fold weeks later because it does not work out. Because people are not on the same page, are not willing to work as hard as the others.

You have to make up your mind, if you want just fun, casually playing in a team or take sacrifices and become the best. It does not matter what skill group you are in. You can just have started playing the game, your goal could be to just casually play, but at some point you may want to go further, you may want to start getting better, play competitive. It can also go the other way around. You wanted to become the best, join a team where everyone is grinding and practicing their hardest, but things can change for anyone at any time, but then be fair and tell your team.

Often I feel like many people do not realize that certain things need a certain amount of dedication. You can probably take any sort of skill as an example. Drawing, playing an instrument, streaming, coding, editing or playing video games. You don’t get better by just casually playing. You will have to practice regularly, maybe also on days you don’t feel like it, have no motivation or feel exhausted.

Ask yourself a few of the following things:

• What do you want to achieve?
• How much time are you willing to put into your goal?
• What are you willing to do for your goal?

Depending on the answers you will know what to look for, but you should ask yourself those questions over and over again and change your current situation accordingly.

Also as a team it is important to have talks to make sure you are always on the same page. Do you want to go to LANS? Do you want to have bootcamps, practice 4 times a week or more?

Teams and players will save so much time, if they just take a few moments to make up their minds what they want. Progress will also benefit from the fact that everyone has clarified and agreed on the same goals.

If you ever feel like you need to talk within your team, speak up, don’t be shy – in the end it will benefit you and every other person in the team.

 

 

Coaching – Do’s and Don’ts

Today I want to publish a collection of things that might benefit or hinder your development as a team with a coach. Again my opinion, I am not a coach myself.

In general I think there are certain jobs or position not everyone can do. Sure, people can grow and develop themselves further, but generally speaking a Coach needs to have a specific way of how they tackle different problems and how they approach each member of a team individually. Empathy is definitely one of the requirements a good coach should have.

• Knowledge of the game, but definitely from different perspectives.

As a team member you may want to focus on your own role. You have certain positions, several setups in which you play a specific role and also encounter specific enemy tactics while fulfilling your role. A coach needs a more wider knowledge. Even though as a player you should also understand what your teammates are doing to adjust accordingly, but your coach should at all times see the whole scenario. I would say a coach position is to some extend comparable to an in-game leader. Always having the overview, seeing the strengths and weaknesses of each person within the team.

• Honesty & Trust

This is probably one of the most important requirements that turn a coach into a good coach. You don’t want someone who is sugar coating the facts. If you don’t know your nades (insert any other knowledgeable item in here) and fail the same one 10 times in a row and still laugh about it, it’s possibly already too late for someone to step up and say that you should finally get your shit together. But it is not only the obvious things that should be pointed out. A coach should find a way to support the players in solving their problems and guiding them into getting better. The team has to trust the coach. Not blindly of course. This is where I get to my next point.

• Understanding & Respect

Coaching is not supposed to be bossing around a group of people. Respect goes both ways. Don’t just blindly follow what others tell you. Ask if you see things different. Take the time to explain to each other why you see things different. Don’t feel offended. In the end you are both having the same goal.

• Motivation

The team is feeling down, has a hard time. Try to motivate your team, show them you still believe in them. Also, as a team, show your coach that you are trying your hardest and sure there can be times when you don’t feel motivated, but show your teammates and your coach that there are times when you are and that you are willing to try your best. Sometimes it needs just one person to motivate everyone and this can decide not only one game round, but also a whole game.

When you are looking for a coach you should first sit together as a team and think about what you need. Do you need help with strategies, do you need help with team play, individual performance or just someone on the outside to see your strengths and weaknesses? When approaching people for this role tell them what you want and let them tell you what they can offer you. Clarify from the beginning that you are on the same page, have the same goals. Set a trial period. Take the practice times serious. Have fun, but scale down the jokes.

As a team pay attention to your coach and listen.
As a coach listen to your team and take the time to discuss things if needed.

If things don’t work out or anyone feels uncomfortable it should always be discussed and don’t be too scared to separate from a coach/team if it does not work out.

Be honest, respectful and motivate each other, the rest will follow.

 

the people with the (not so) good intentions or ‘female collectors’

Disclaimer: Yes I use stereotypes, yes I know there are exceptions, yes I write this because of my own experience. Nothing of the following is directed at someone specific, so please don’t feel offended. Please read till the end!

I was honestly a little bit surprised and scared when this topic received the most up votes. Of course this probably sounded like the most drama topic. I even get asked when I am finally done. Not sure if people are actually curious or just want to throw me into a pot of hot water. But nevertheless, may it create some drama. I am sometimes at the point where I think it’s more important that certain topics are discussed even if it starts with drama.

Almost any female (eSports, maybe not even that) player (I can only talk for CSGO here tho 😉 ) that is somehow visible in the female scene has experience with one, or maybe all, of the following scenarios:

a) You just want to play a pug, you maybe can’t find five so you decide to queue with randoms. You join the game, everyone says ‘hello’. You might say hello back or just wait to the point where you can’t avoid it anymore and you click your push-to-talk button, start to talk and before you even get to finish your sentence you hear one of the following responses: “Omg grill”, “Are you 12 year old boy or girl” or a similar sentence with kind of the same context just in another variation.

Besides that it also doesn’t take that long until the first steam friend request pops up.

I don’t even know what they hope will happen. Most of the times the first round isn’t even over. They don’t even know if we will get along, how I play, how my communication is. The fact that I am female is reason enough for them to add me. No thanks.

b) Totally random, completely unrelated, steam shows you have a friend request. It already shows you that you have 13 friends in common with this person, 95% girls. Of course it could be just a friend of a friend of a brother’s friend of a friend’s sister. Given the fact that you are not looking for a team, you are not looking for players, you don’t look for a coach and the only common friends are other female players makes it slightly suspicious.

What do you want from me? Why do you randomly add me? This is the most harmless version of the female collector. You don’t add him, he won’t say a word and if you accept the request he probably won’t speak to you either.

This kind of female collector can be female too. They add you because, well, you are in the same scene, but never actually talk to you. Can be nice for network increase, what I will mention later as well.

Before I get into my last category I first want to say thank you to all those guys and girls that take some time and see the player behind every female player, no matter the game. It’s thanks to a lot of guys that I kept learning so much and that I learned to love this game as much as I do now.

c) Sadly there are guys out there who create teams with girls, try to coach them, manage them and promise them to help them to improve and progress. Giving them false hope, sugar coat them instead of giving constructive criticism. Constant joking and flirting (don’t get me wrong I understand jokes and a good atmosphere also during practice is important) and not taking female players serious enough is almost a requirement to fall into this category. Those kind of people are not helping the female scene or players to grow, they even hinder it progressing. Of course there are other aspects that hinder the scene to progress (including the attitude and intention of  people), but this is another topic. Those are the people with the not so good intentions.

In general it is not ‘bad’ to be a female collector. You want to increase your network, you want to work in the female scene, maybe you are a player and want to prepare yourself for future praccs or you want to coach, cast or whatever. Just because I listed different categories doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad to be what I call a ‘female collector’, but adding someone just for the reason, well, for which one exactly? Because they are female?

Is this again a problem of demand? Girls like being added , I mean if they would not accept the request no one could be able to ‘collect’ them, right? Maybe the whole problem is more the intention behind it.

I think one of the main problems the female scene has is that it is so hard to be taken serious. Many people that belong to one of those groups don’t see you as a gamer, a player or someone competitive. They simply add you, because you are female, but they are not interested in your passion for Counter-Strike: Global Offensive or any other game where you spend hours with every day, to become one of the best.

We need to stop thinking in male and female

Moved here from my Twitteraccount.

In response of quiethell’s article on fragbite.com (http://fragbite.com/cs/article/10944/quiethell-female-teams-need-to-start-thinking-like-the-males-do)
“Female teams need to start thinking like the males do”:

We need to stop thinking in male and female.

Everyone knows this topic can’t just be handled by a few lines. So many factors you have to think about when it comes to the question why the top male teams are still above the top female teams. But in my opinion we need to stop thinking in male in female. Of course one could say let’s stop splitting male and female completely also in terms of tournaments. But it’s not really split, is it? Females are allowed to play in the “normal” tournaments, but it hasn’t happened yet. Having female tournaments is in my eyes still a nice opportunity to allow females to get this feeling of competitiveness. Dynasty Gaming is indeed still at the top, but I don’t think the main reason is because they think like guys, being purely aggressive and having no respect.
Good teams are confident, regardless of their gender, because of experience and eventually knowing what they are able to do in their current state of skill level and also in regards of their opponents.

There are indeed advantages of being aggressive. Early information, early map control and maybe even an early pick. It is necessary though to take a deeper look at it. You can’t just simply say, this is how males think. In my opinion this is how experienced players think, no matter their gender. Being aggressive only pays out if there is a thought and a vision behind it, especially in the competitive scene. It needs to be controlled aggression. Gaining map control as a team, because you follow a certain strategy and because you want to outplay and counter your enemy in order to win the round. Being simply aggressive wouldn’t work in the long run. A strong default setup can easily counter an overly aggressive play style.

Further experience of players and experienced coaches who would provide their knowledge for female teams in a serious way is just one way of helping more female teams catching up with the top teams in the scene such as Team Dynasty, but as in the article mentioned there are already some teams at their toes and I feel it’s just a matter of time until we might see even more female teams improve and give top female teams a tough time.

In my opinion there is no “male” and “female” thinking in Counterstrike. There is thinking about the best way to win the round, how to counter your enemy, how to secure the win for your team. Think of the best strategy and play to win the round, until you have 16.